2005 08 03 Mediation Complaint
This was the complaint that I filed following my first mediation hearing. I think it's pretty clear that this mediator is not only biased but failed to "Evaluate" this case properly. Also submitted with this complaint was a copy of the mediation questionaire which has lots of information that was ignored.
To whom it may concern:
I was the victim of a mediation hearing in on May 3rd of 2005 in the office of Mrs. Wells. Four months later my attorney received the official recommendation from Mrs. Wells. Not only do I take issue with the recommendation itself but the manner in which the hearing was conducted.
My first complaint is that I was accused by Mrs. Wells of trying to make my ex-wife look like a bad mother. I did this by presenting, once allowed to, documents and imaged to prove the conditions to which our son was exposed. In discussing the root canal that my son was exposed to at the age of 2 years, my ex wife first stated that she was not present for the procedure then that he only had two cavities. I provided pictures of his teeth prior to the procedure, a medical bill showing that he had five cavities and a letter of neglect from the pediatric dentist which states that my Ex-wife not only missed the initial appointment but failed to administer the prescribed antibiotic which would have killed the infection and reduced the swelling in the infected nerve, allowing for a much less invasive procedure. Mrs. Wells comment was “If the dentist thought that the child was in danger, then he is obligated by law to report it to the authorities.” I showed Mrs. Wells a couple of pictures of the condition on my son’s teeth. Mrs. Wells’s response was “Well…. The child’s teeth definitely need to be brushed twice a day.” In the pictures, the build up on his teeth looked like something that you’d see on the teeth of a homeless person.
In the Nov 2005 deposition my ex-wife admitted that Q brushes his own teeth once a day only. I realize Mrs. Wells could make a decision on future information but it would seem that anyone could see this coming or at least seen the situation existing with the documents that I had presented. Our son is not receiving an acceptable amount of care in his mothers home and she is unwilling to change it.
Mrs. Wells instructed my Ex-wife and I to talk to each other. That went as follows:
Me: “Why shouldn’t I have more time with Q?” Mom’s response, “I am Q’s mother, I love Q with all my heart. I can’t stand to be away from him. That’s why I got a night job so I can be home with him during the day because I can’t stand to be away from him.” My response was, “Mom, given what you just said, I too am Q’s parent, I love him too. So what you’re saying is that even though I am his father, I don’t deserve anything more that 4 days a month. Why would you not be willing to give me an acceptable amount of time with Q?” Mom started talking about something else. Mrs. Wells stated that this was a good Question and that she wanted to hear the answer. Mom’s response was “What’s wrong with the current order?” Mrs. Wells explained that Q needs more time with his Father. Mom said that she didn’t agree and wouldn’t go along with it because the current order is fine. Mrs. Wells asked “What if we got it changed?” Mom said that she still would not go along with it. I told Mrs. Wells that this was the type of defiant behavior that stops Mom and I from reaching an agreement on our own. The fact that their have been no consequences for her actions is the reason that she continues to do the things that she does. Mrs. Wells recommended change was one additional day per week; I pick Q up from school, keep him until 8:00pm then return him home. This is insulting, and more of an inconvenience to both me and Q than it’s worth. My ex-wife and I live 20 miles apart.
I mentioned a severe burn that Q had endured to his forearm but had received no medical attention. When I first saw the burn, my ex-wife stated that she had taken Q to Children’s hospital DMC but could not locate the discharge papers. I went to the children’s hospital billing office and was told that they have no record of the incident. My son’s Pediatrician received no notice of the incident and I received no bill for it from my insurance company. When presented with this, Mrs. Wells asked my ex-wife if she had a copy of the discharge papers. She responded that she would get me some papers from somewhere. Mrs. Wells was content with this. As of today, Mom has failed to produce any proof that Q was seen by a doctor for the burn. In a deposition hearing in Nov of 2005, Mom couldn’t answer questions as to the type burn, severity or medication administered. Mom’s story was and still remains that they were running the air conditioner and the fireplace in August and that Q burned his arm on the fireplace.
I told Mrs. Wells that Q has missed at least 15 follow-up appointments in his mothers care and that the only time that she seeks medical care is when his condition deteriorates so much that an Emergency room visit is necessary. I had the proof with me. Mrs. Wells didn’t want to see it.
I told Mrs. Wells of the day that my ex-wife assaulted my fiancé (While in the presence of Q and three other very small children). There was a police report filed and current PPO. Mrs. Wells stated that I had a double standard in not wanting my ex-wife’s boyfriend around but bringing my fiancé to pick up my son. I explained to Mrs Wells that I have picked Q up from Paul (my ex-wife’s boyfriend) more often than I had from my ex. Even though I could prove it, this seemed to be a point that meant nothing.
When I mentioned open sores on Q’s bottom, my ex-wife became belligerent stating that “Q ain’t never had no open sores on no part of his body. Oran, you need to just stop. Stop lying and making stuff up. You need to just give it up.” I pulled three 11x8 inch photos from two different occasions that he had open sores on his bottom and legs and presented them to my ex and Mrs. Wells. I also showed a page from his medical file proving that she had taken Q to the E.R. for this very thing. I complained to Mrs. Wells that my son’s mother does not take him in for treatment when needed. Mrs. Wells looked and asked me if I took him to the doctor when I got him. I told her that I did. She said well that’s what important.
In my opinion Mrs. Wells failed to give proper consideration to the facts surrounding the situation. She accused me of trying to make my ex look like a bad mother. How, by trying to be a father to my son, by insisting that he receive the benefit of medical care that I am fortunate enough to be able to provide.
Mrs. Wells did not even ask my ex to explain the missed parenting time visits. Instead, she said that I had received make-up time and that they had been addressed.
When I made the statement that my ex-wife was the first to contact CPS stating that I had molested our son, Mrs. Wells took a very hard stand on the fact that I didn’t know who had called CPS. I told Mrs. Wells that the CPS worker that contacted me told me that my ex-wife made the complaint. This irritated Mrs. Wells quite a bit and threatened to pull the report to prove otherwise. Mrs. Wells also threatened the case worker stating that they were prohibited from giving out that information and if it was true then she was going to deal with it because she used to be head of some department within CPS and that she was fully aware of their duties. Mrs. Wells showed more interest in my accusing my ex-wife of contacting CPS than the fact that my ex-wife failed to take Q in for a check up after five requests from CPS. She was almost defending my ex-wife.
At the beginning of our meeting I attempted to present Mrs. Wells with a document. She refused the document saying that this was not a court of law and that I didn’t have to prove anything here. Towards the end of the meeting, I was allowed to present the pictures and a letter from a doctor. In closing the meeting I objected to Mrs. Wells suggested recommendation and was told by her “That will be my recommendation and my recommendations are followed 99% of the time.” I have too many issues, with this statement, to list.
It was my understanding that the one of the mediation hearing was to first assist Mom and me in reaching a middle ground on our own. When this failed, to then make a recommendation based on facts as which household might be a safer more stable and productive environment for the child. My ex-wife stated that I don’t even deserve to see my son without offering any sort of reason as to why.
I have attached a copy of the mediation questionnaire as it was submitted to Mrs. Wells. Mrs. Wells recommendation was decided prior to our leaving her office. How could she possibly consider so much so quickly? Best interest factors? Where was that evaluation?
Please feel free to contact me with any questions or comments that you may have.